If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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