And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
