Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
