I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
