Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
