So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
