DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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