He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
