smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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