The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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