i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
