His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
