Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
