remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
