Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
FUCK WHALES
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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