DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
When are your genitals available?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
