I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize