ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
