Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
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I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm just crazy horny about you
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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