Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize