i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
