Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize