I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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