At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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