were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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