also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
