this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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