ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
