Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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