This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
