we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
