matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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