You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
