dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
