WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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