I need help removing her.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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