butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
