he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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