:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
