PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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