When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He did a backflip because drugs
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
