He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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