Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
