omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
