no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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