Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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