and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize