And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
