The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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