That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
