you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
