people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
