btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We are all done wearing pants today
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
