I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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