I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
