he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it glows. i had to have it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
