Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
