I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
