Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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