The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
