I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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