Your mouth is God's brothel.
operation have a gay friend backfired
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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