u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
