this boner is exhausting
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Your penis caused this!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
