p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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