is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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