Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize