I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
there is glitter all over my balls
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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